


Carry On

by Honey_Honey



Series: Supernatural Fix-It Fics [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x21 coda, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Carry On coda, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Heaven, I AM SO ANGRY, I Love You, Love Confessions, M/M, do i even have to tell you at this point, for that ending, im so mad, lol, lol i just, made it a lot more gay, retelling of 15x21, retelling of Carry On, smirk emoji, so i decided to write, so please enjoy that LMAO, waited years, y'all!!, years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27654191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_Honey/pseuds/Honey_Honey
Summary: Dean was dead.He was in heaven.Maybe that meant he could see Cas. He had a lot left to say. A lot left to do. Hopefully, the angel would let him.ORwhatever the fuck THAT ending was. anyway, here's the gay conclusion we're all looking for.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Destiel
Series: Supernatural Fix-It Fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022025
Comments: 11
Kudos: 75





	Carry On

**Author's Note:**

> pain! nothing but pain

Dean drew a shaky breath as he parked the Impala on that bridge. In heaven. It’d only been a couple minutes but he didn’t think he’d ever get used to that. Jack's heaven. He chuckled a little to himself, and made a note to somehow ask Jack to visit as soon as possible.

At that, his thoughts drifted. Or, rather, they focused right back on what had been on his mind the whole drive. Someone else he wanted to see.

Stepping out of the Impala (he couldn’t believe it had been waiting here for him. Heaven really was something), Dean walked up to the railing to look over the water, at the trees that rose on either side of the river. The dense forest was nice. He liked the sense of solitude it provided, though the space was so open.

He felt a presence behind him, and immediately, he was on alert, trying to get a glimpse or a feel of who was behind him without turning. A habit. Something told him this was literally _heaven_ , why was he still using hunter instincts? A larger part of him said that that’s what got him killed. Lack of spatial awareness.

All thoughts left his head as he identified who was behind him. Dean swallowed, drawing in a long breath but finding himself unable to speak. As if he could read minds, Cas spoke first. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean turned and his voice was still caught in his throat. He took a short few moments to regain the ability to speak. To take in the sight of his best friend in front of him. His closest friend.

Cas stood still as ever, power radiating from everything about him. Dean almost laughed at the trench coat, the blue tie, always askew. Then he found that those two things made him want to break out into tears. Messy, broken sobs. Instead, he cleared his throat and, finally, said “Cas,” a watery smile on his face.

“I’m… sorry,” Cas started, and Dean focused on that. The contrast in his voice, wavering and uncertain, and the power in his posture. The way his eyes betrayed how soft he really was. “I saw how– I’m sorry.”

He chuckled and shook his head, stepping away from the railing to meet Cas in the middle of the bridge. “It’s okay,” he said, head bowed. “This place ain’t so bad.” His hands were behind his back, thumbs twiddling as he reached for something to say. “I hear you had a hand in this? Re-modeling the Upstairs?”

The pounding in his chest almost drowned out what Cas was saying. (How was that happening? Why did he need his heart to pound or his stomach to flip when he was already dead? What good was fight or flight here?) “I did,” the angel was saying, and Dean zeroed in on his voice. He’d missed it, more than anything. Tears sprung in his eyes. “Though, Jack came up with the majority of it. He had many ideas for heaven. I like his version much better.” At the pride in his voice, Dean looked up and found Cas smiling at him, though cautiously. He gave a similar smile back.

The quiet settled over them, thick and heavy. Dean fought the urge to clear his throat and clap Cas on the shoulder. Or break down crying and throw his arms around the other. He tried to collect his thoughts, his feelings, before he spoke.

Cas beat him to it. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. Dean almost told him, _“Man, I told you, it’s okay. I had to go sooner or later.”_ But Cas wasn’t finished. “I shouldn’t– the way I… left. It wasn’t how I would have wanted to.” A couple moments passed, in which Dean watched Cas’ face begin to crumble, ever so slowly. Lines he’d memorized deepened as Cas struggled to say what he meant. “I understand. If you don’t _want_ that, I understand. I loved– l-liked, what we had. It was perfect.”

Dean had closed his eyes at some point, the fear in Cas' face and the intensity of his gaze a combination that was almost too much to bear. He left them closed, and found himself shaking his head. “It wasn’t,” he said, steeling himself before he opened his eyes to meet Cas’ stunningly blue ones. Dean decided, maybe not for the first time, that it was his favorite color. “I mean, it was- I liked it, too, but… it wasn’t perfect.”

Surprise filled Cas’ face, and confusion. Dean felt a smile fight to be on his face. His hands shook, and he clasped them firmly together as Cas spoke. “What would… why not?”

A simple question. Dean opened his mouth. Closed it. Listened to the silence of their little forest clearing, of the impossibly quiet river below them. He opened his mouth again. “I wanted something different– _want_ something different.” Cas’ face only crumbled further, and Dean quickly shook his head, panic taking over as he stepped forward and put his hands on Cas’ shoulders. “No! No, you’re not– you don’t understand, Cas, I wanted– I want _more_.”

Castiel looked at him, more confused than before, searching his eyes. “You’re not making any sense,” he said, brows furrowed.

“I know I’m not,” Dean chuckled, still trying to figure out how to do this (wasn’t this supposed to be a perfect place? Why was he still so damn bad at _feelings_?). He cleared his throat and took a breath. “Cas,” he started, hands squeezing the angel's shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

The confusion on Cas’ face only deepened, and Dean almost laughed as he tilted his head to the side. “I should be– it should be _me_ apologizing. That wasn’t– I mean– the way I _left_.” Cas let out a humorless chuckle, his gaze darting between Dean’s eyes. “What do you have to be sorry for?”

Dean took a breath, collecting himself so his words wouldn’t fail him again. His gaze dropped from Cas’ eyes, trained on his lips only for a fraction of a second, but he knew Cas saw it. Felt him inhale and tense slightly underneath Dean’s hands. “I’m sorry,” Dean said again, moving to caress Cas’ face gently, “for letting you leave like that. For not reassuring you before you went. For just… standing there, overwhelmed.” He brushed his thumb over Cas’ cheek. “And I’m so, so sorry for not doing this sooner.”

Without a second thought, Dean leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

Immediately, he felt Cas kiss him back, his arms wrapping around Dean’s waist, pulling him closer. Dean let him, pressing against Cas and moving his hands to tangle in the others’ hair. His brain cleared completely, until Cas was the only thing he could think of, until he wanted to spend the rest of forever in heaven doing _this_. Every sense in his body narrowed down to this, focused so intensely on the feel of Cas’ lips on his, of their bodies flush together.

Dean pulled away reluctantly, panting for air (he briefly thought about asking Jack to make breathing not mandatory. If only to kiss Cas for longer). Cas kept their foreheads pressed together, and he complied. He admired the red in Cas’ cheeks, the gentle swelling in his lips, the dazed look that glazed his bright eyes. “Okay,” Cas said. It was quiet for only a few seconds, until Dean burst out laughing, shoulders shaking as they leaned against each other. In seconds, Cas was laughing, too, and they were struggling to support each other as they wiped tears from their eyes.

“Just ‘okay’?” Dean asked, one eyebrow raised. He lets his arms hang loosely around Cas’ neck. “I thought it was a little more than ‘okay’.”

Cas shook his head, leaning forward and pressing a short kiss to Dean’s lips. (Again, the butterflies in his stomach. What was their deal? Why did they go to heaven with him?). “No, it was… everything. Perfect. You make me… so happy.”

The smile on his face was so fulfilled and peaceful, Dean wanted to cry. And to kiss him again. So, he did. “Good,” Dean replied. “That took me… what, 12 years of pep talking myself? 12 years and death.” He chuckled, and Cas’ laugh joined him. The sound was enough to make Dean dizzy. “Better hope The Empty isn’t around because I–” he kissed Cas’ jaw “–plan on making _you_ –” a trail of kisses down his neck “–very, very happy.”

As Cas groaned, Dean pulled back, a grin on his face. “I’m looking forward to it,” he murmured, kissing Dean again. “That’s a lot of happiness, for the rest of eternity.”

“There’s nothing I’d rather be doing with my eternity,” Dean responded, eyes tracing Cas’ face, watching the soft slopes of his features. “I love you.”

Cas let out a small, breathless noise, his eyes wide as they searched Dean’s. Then he captured Dean's lips in another kiss, desperate and eager. “I love you,” he replied, so close he was speaking into Dean’s mouth.

They stayed there for what must have been hours. Dean felt them pass like minutes. He and Cas moved from standing in the center of the bridge to watching the water over the railing, then sitting on the Impala and looking at the sky. At each other.

“Oh,” Cas said, watching as Dean propped himself up on one elbow. “He just got here. Sam. He’s- he just got here. He’s waiting with- Jack.”

Dean felt his heart swell. Sam. Jack.

He caressed Cas’ cheek, then gently tilted his chin up. Kissed him softly. “Let’s go see them,” he murmured, nudging their noses together. “Sam missed you two so much.”

Cas sighed and got up, holding his hand out to Dean once his feet were firmly on the ground. His smile was bright, and Dean knew there was nothing else he wanted to see for the rest of eternity. “Jack has missed you both, as well,” Cas replied, squeezing the man’s hand. He pulled Dean by his arm, and with a kiss on his cheek, he said, “Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this while sleep deprived and delirious, half in tears. might edit it tomorrow LMAO (edit: done)
> 
> thank you so much for reading. im sorry the supernatural finale let us down. here's to hoping for a new hyperfixation that'll actually give a conclusion that's worthwhile.
> 
> in the meantime, check out my other supernatural fics (or the 15x19 coda I wrote recently) or let me know what you thought of this one. like share subscribe, lol. I love you! Take care of yourself ;)


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